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COOKED first promo release “Religious Recipes” Humor. By Jim Baugh

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COOKEDlogo1-1Here it is folks, the first quote I am making public from my second novel “COOKED” This book is full of more of the hilarious behind the scenes stories of filming Jim Baugh Outdoors TV, mostly the cooking segments. The book will be a full novel, with a recipe section at the end of each chapter. Sort of like Nora Ephron but on much stronger steroids. This quote goes out to my friend Author and Playwright, Mark Covington. His humor is equally twisted as mine! 

Title of Chapter: 

“Religious Recipes” 

“I always was happy that the good Lord turned water into wine, but never understood why he did not help out more with some culinary education, after all, a lot of us need help in this area. As a young Christian boy, I often wondered who in the world created the dreaded…………. 

Methodist Sunday Covered Dish Supper? 

I mean really, 50 casserole dishes lined up all with the same floating melted bagged cheese on top, with what ever surprises lay underneath. Seriously, our Methodist culinary knowledge only included recipes that consisted of these three ingredients: 

Cheese,

Pyrex &

Tupperware. 

The occasional broccoli may have been thrown in for good measure along with some frozen cubed chicken. YUM YUM!! All that cheese! Always wondered why these old ladies did not get stopped up like 5pm LA traffic. 

I understand the good Lord wants and encourages fellowship. However he would have to have SOME opinion about what is in these cholesterol bombs. Do you really think J.C. himself would approve of a covered dish that included such healthy bits of nourishment in one five by ten container?? 

Two cups cheddar cheese, one cup velveta, one cup flour, four teaspoons sugar, Crisco to coat the pan, two sticks melted butter, and two pieces of cauliflower in the bottom of the pan covered by white flour elbow noodles. 

Bake at 350 for an hour, …..then pray there is an afterlife. 

I got to tell ya, at these festivals of gastric casserole delights, if I had the power Id be turning water into wine too. Then order take out!! 

The only thing I did fully understand about these covered dish dinners is why there was always…..

Leftovers.

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